As the 2010 Menace season comes to a close, the players have grown into a family over the past few months. The team takes the field one last time against St. Louis this Saturday. Each player cast his vote for each of the following questions, and here are the winners:
- Who can eat the most?
The Team Pig: Stephen Okai (6 votes)
Runner up: Billy Thompson (5 votes)
Best comment: “Sam (Morris) – He eats five packs of Ramen a night.” –Anonymous
- Who is the team clown?
Team Comedian: Jack Pearson (18 votes)
Runner up: Lebo Moloto (4 votes)
Best comment: “For sure Jack Pearson; he even plays like a clown.” –Sam Morris
- If the team was stranded on a desert island, who would take charge and who would be the first eaten?
Team Leader: Clark Bradford (11 votes)
A tasty meal: Seven players tied with two votes each
Best comment: “Jack (Pearson) would try to take charge, but no one would listen, and he would thus be eaten.” –Billy Thompson
- Who is the biggest drama queen?
The Menace Madonna: Luis Piffer (14 votes)
Runner up: Jason Williams (4 votes)
Best comment: “Luis likes to roll around unnecessarily on the field.” –Sam Morris
- Who has the most unique hidden talent or characteristic?
Winner: Lebo Moloto – “Some weird finger snapping sound” –Anonymous (5 votes)
Runner up: Yuki Kariya – “Playstation 3 FIFA master” –Anonymous (4 votes)
Best comment: “Jake Wright has a phobia of salad and fruit.” –Anonymous
- Who has the biggest ego?
Can’t touch this: Jack Pearson (13 votes)
Runner up: Jake Wright (3 votes)
My comment: Now imagine the voting if England (Pearson's home country) actually showed up in the World Cup.
- Who is the friendliest? Meanest?
Angel: Stefan De Las (6 votes)
Devil: Jack Pearson (6 votes)
My comment: This Pearson guy is getting a ton of votes…what gives?
- Who is most likely to make it to the MLS?
Superstar in the making: Logan McDaniel (16 votes)
Runner(s) up: Jubril Lawal (below), Clark Bradford (4 votes)
My comment: Hmmmm…Pearson didn’t get any votes for this one…
- Who is the smartest?
Team Genius: Yuki Kariya (9 votes)
Runner up: Jacob Schmoker (3 votes)
My comment: With all due respect to Kariya and Schmoker, I’m shocked by this. I guess the Ivy League doesn’t impress most Menace players (Stephen Baker is going to Penn this fall, hint, hint).
- Who is the best singer?
Next stop, American Idol: Jack Pearson (4 votes)
Runner up: Luis Piffer (3 votes)
My comment: I would pay big money to see the insults Simon Cowell spits out at Pearson.
- Who is the biggest ladies man?
Team Pimp: Luis Piffer (6 votes)
Runner up: Jack Pearson (4 votes)
My comment: A Brazilian and Englishman are the top two. What I would give for an accent to seduce the ladies...(sigh)
- Who has the worst temper?
Anger Management: Clark Bradford (7 votes)
Runner(s) up: Jason Williams, Stephen Okai (4 votes)
My comment: Apparently no one wants to piss off the captain...wonder if this will get to him?
- Who is most likely to succeed outside soccer?
Matt Kuhn (3 votes)
Runner(s) up: Eight tied with 2 votes
My comment: Good choice to choose one of the Drake guys.
- Who is most likely to become a politician?
2012 presidential candidate: Sterling Copeland (8 votes)
Runner(s) up: Jack Pearson, Jubril Lawal, Jake Wright (3 votes)
My comment: May God help us all.
- Whose room is the messiest?
Make Lysol donations to: Jack Pearson (5 votes)
Runner up: Billy Thompson (3 votes)
My comment: It may or may not be a coincidence, but those English lads garnered a lot of votes for this one…
Menace intern Matt Moran, a junior at Drake University, wrote this story.